But I can't swim!

AUGUST 11, 2007

So I came up with a really good analogy for this post in my head while out for a run yesterday... and then subsequently completely forgot it. Hope this doesn't stay true in med school.

Speaking of which... MSI orientation begins in approximately 41 1/2 hours. There are many "typical" feelings that students experience as they get ready to start medical school. Some examples:

"Oh my god what if I'm not smart enough!"
"Oh my god what if I don't really want to be a doctor!"
"Oh my god what if my classmates suck!"
"Oh my god how am I going to be able to study enough!"
"Oh my god how will I be able to maintain even a semblance of a social life!"
"Oh my god what will I do if I fail!"

These are typical feelings experienced going into medical school. I've never considered myself typical. But I've come to realize in the past 48 hours...

...

I'm typical.

I've handled things pretty well so far, mainly due to my low key SoCal bloodline and my healthy ego. But in the past couple days, in has crept the apprehension, the worry, the nervousness, the dread. I have to keep telling myself that this is all normal. It will pass soon enough. I AM smart enough to cut it, and cut it well. I really DO want to be a doctor. My classmates will NOT be a bunch of bookhead drones who will simply nod at my sarcastic sense of humor. I WON'T become a nerd hermit (nerd hermit... sounds like an animal. I'll work on this one).

However, we all have ways of coping. I have been coping by milking every precious moment out of my last few days of freedom by doing everything I always wanted to do... like sky diving, and renting a stretch hummer, and doing a line of coke off of a stripper's back.

Ok, not really.

But the consecutive nights of going out on the town have taken a healthy bite out of my checking account... and given me a healthy peace of mind.

I think I'm ready. Ok, I know I'm ready, but part of me doesn't want to believe it. Guess I don't have a choice. Time to stop swimming in the shallows and jump into the deep end.

Welcome to medical school.