So I have my final exam of second year on Thursday. While there is a certain degree of surreality to typing that (part of my brain still feels like its 2008... or 2007 for that matter), I am definitely looking forward to leaving the brain-desiccating monotony of the pre-clinical years behind. If finally hit me as I was sitting down to study today after lecture how close I am to being done with second year. And my brain thought: cool.

A couple posts ago, I talked about my plans for studying for Step 1 up until the end of class and my intensive 3 week period (namely: not studying, but simply "pre"-studying). Well, that was going well, until chatter around the lecture hall started slowly switching to boards, then becoming predominantly about boards, eventually becoming the all encompassing obsessive fixation of the class. The lecture hall soon became riddled with micro note cards, flow charts of the nephron, acid-base tables, and clotting cascades. And frankly, I am not a strong man. I hate feeling like I'm not doing something I should be (one of the many reasons I do not study in the school library). So I've acquiesced and started doing more QBank questions to at least give myself the illusion that I am trying harder. The results have looked something like this:

... I think if you ran a linear regression on that it'd have a negative slope. But the main thing that is so maddening is the up-and-down nature of it all. One night I'm feeling like the work is starting to pay off. The next... certain doom. I took a second NBME and I'm up 15 points from my previous score. Yeah! Still 40 points from my goal. Crap. It's finally starting to sink in what a bear of an exam Step 1 is going to be. Sure, everyone "knows" that but there's a difference between watching Twister on your DVD player and standing in the middle of a field as a F5 tornado descends on you.

So that's is where I am at. Less than 48 hours away from having to regurgitate my last syllabus. Either destined to pass or fail Step 1. Can MedZag make the final push and make up those 40 points to preserve his future career? Or is he just a cocky jackass for thinking he could accomplish so much in such little time, destined to practice primary care in Disappointment, KY? Stay tuned.